The Real Me
by moonlitsfantasy
Summary: I'm the kind of girl you'd expect to see with a bright personality and a carefree heart.What you see on top isn't always what's underneath.This isn't a fairy tale, this is my life.I'm Serena Tuskino and welcome to reality.Based on true story.BEING REVISED
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon.

But I do own the idea, sort of, since it's based off a true story. And a lot of this is not an exaggeration. I got it from the source and I would like to acknowledge her and give thanks for letting me use this for a true tale.

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I'm the kind of girl you'd expect to see on top of everything, always there with a bright, friendly smile for everyone and always there being the social butterfly of the year. I'm the type of girl you'd expect to hear compliments for, with a cheerful outlook on anything that's negative. And I'm the type of girl you'd think would have a grip on reality, since I sure act that way and I sure seem that way. 

I'm not.

I'm the type of girl who shows one thing to the world while bleeding uncontrollably inside, hoping, wishing, praying for an end; for someone to come sweep me off my feet and flatter me with all types of compliments. I'm the type of girl who is totally insecure about herself and anything said to me affects me like nothing else. A positive comment will make me glow; a negative comment will make me wilt. I'm damn adept at hiding my emotions, so no one knows what's going on inside.

My name is Serena Tuskino and this is my story.

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It was a typical day like any other, the sun was way past shining, and was hiding on the other side of the world as its counterpart, the moon and stars, shined brightly in its place. But it was just a substitute like anything else. The sun was powerful, and it beat mercilessly down upon those who soaked it in greedily and was harsh and unyielding to those who begged for some kindness. But the moon was another story. The moon was in the sky when the sun was not, giving a softness—or a blur—to the world that is not seen in daylight. It is there to give relief to those who worked hard at a long day of work, to those who need rest from the world around them, and those who hide from the world. The night masked what the day tried to reveal. The night is friend to those who fear the light and to those who fear themselves. The night was Serena Tuskino's best friend. 

Serena sighed as she rested her head in her petite hands, golden hair cascading onto her desk. _Why me?_ Serena asked herself miserably.

Why her indeed. Why was she the one saddled with all that rotten homework from teachers that should just leave her alone? Those teachers needed lives; why else would they give out time consuming, good for nothing homework?

And why was she the one with siblings she fought with constantly? She didn't mean to fight with them, but stuffing her emotions all day from a long day of school, that went from about eight in the morning til about six at night, was enough to make anyone explode. But it wasn't just that long day of school that tweaked her and wormed its way under her skin; it was those good for nothing _boys_ who did. They were immature and annoying and disruptive and obnoxious and irritating and immature. Was immature mentioned? It did not matter how many times a teacher would snap at them to shut up, and it certainly didn't matter how many times a teacher would threaten a student with the removal of his seat, it just did not work! And it wasn't that it just did not work, it was that it disrupted Serena's precious learning time! She wanted to learn and by golly she would not have those obnoxious immature brats taking that time away from her. Agitation swelled to the point of explosion, but it didn't matter. She would pretend, and hope, that she kept her face maintained into a serene expression, barring the downward turn of her sensual lips.

Serena dug the tips of her fingers into her temple in utter exasperation. Those stupid guys just did not _learn_! It was infuriating. And on top of that, or maybe just a separate case from guys, Serena struggled with remaining socially…apt. She wanted to fit in, she really did, so she'd be friendly to everyone; but there's a vast difference between friendly and friends. She was, or so she felt, _friends_ with the whole of three maybe four people and that was it. She was _friendly_ to everyone else, barring when she wanted to snap at the boys. Serena constantly felt like she wasn't good enough and didn't have enough friends in the school. She felt alone. Utterly and completely alone.

So, as was mentioned before it another rough day at school, with the piling of homework, annoying disruptive boys, and social awkwardness and emptiness to the extreme.

Speaking of social emptiness, no matter how many times Serena would mention lightly, though it wasn't light in her own heart, that she felt uncomfortable in social situations, her best friends would look at her in complete shock and claim with sincerity that they had no idea what she was talking about, for to their eyes, she fit in perfectly and was an extreme social butterfly. But, they did not understand the vast difference between friends and being friendly. It's not that hard to be friendly to anyone, any idiot could do that, but it was hard, and almost virtually impossible, to form that extremely close bond that time had not built, but what a vigorous friendship had.

But that was impossible. There was no such thing as a strong bond of friendship that time did not build. Time built trust and it seemed that no one trusted _her_.

Serena moaned and closed her cerulean blue eyes, feeling a headache overcome her. She took deep, calming breaths in and out, in order to clear the built up agitation within. Each breath she breathed out, she felt a new calm descend about her, relaxing her and clearing her of all those thoughts. Her shoulders unknotted and her stomach settled. Serena opened her eyes.

And blinked. Then moaned. The light was too bright. She liked it better when her eyes were closed, where everything was secure and safe and all nice and protected. The light shines rudely down on those who'd rather shun it. Serena would rather shun it, but the light was also a reality check and she needed to get moving with her work. With a forlorn groan, she pulled out her homework and began her work. Soon she would pack for a weekend trip that would take place the following day. Soon she would get ready for an unknown twirl of impossible, dramatic spins on her life that she was not ready to deal with. Or maybe she was. But these final thoughts were unbeknownst to her, as she struggled with completing her homework.

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**I know it's short, but please please PLEASE REVIEW! I'm curious what you all thought/ if I should even continue this story, so I would love for your input! I CAN'T continue WITHOUT feedback so please review. **

**Flamers and praisers welcome.**

**Can't wait to hear from you all!  
**

**Your's truly,**

**_moonlitsfantasy_  
**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon.

Hey Guys! Hugest apologies for not updating asap. I know, it's been a really long time since I updated, but I promise I did not forget about this story. I just want it to be good, that's all. Anyways,

xoxSerenityxox: Glad you're liking this story and I promise to continue it.

Sunshine: thanks. I hope this is as related to real life as well, since it's based off a true story and all. And I hope people will read and review and learn all the same. Let me know if I showed my main character this chapter.

Dertupio: I'm glad you'll enjoy reading a diff pov. No worries, the story continues. I love SM fanfics as well.lol.

skyee668: I'm glad you think it's good.

NeoQueenSerena: Thanks. I hope I can live up to that potential. I like things that people can relate to.

To everyone else, thanks for reading and please reveiw.

Ok, now the story.

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_BEEP BEEP BEEP_! Her alarm rang right in her ear, and a loud groan erupted from a lump in the bed. "You've got to be kidding me!" Serena complained to her alarm clock. She quickly hit the snooze button and turned to face the wall, determined to get a little more sleep. 

An annoying beat on the floor followed by a clearing of the throat, made Serena groan aloud. "Serena, get up! You'll be late for school, _again_," Serena's mother said forcefully. And irritatingly to her daughter's point of view.

"Ok, ok, I'm up," Serena replied, sitting up in her bed. Serena's mother looked satisfied, turned on her heel and left Serena to get ready for school.

Serena plopped back down into her bed, too tired to move. Five more minutes, she told herself.

"SERENA TUSKINO!!!" Her mother exclaimed in utter shock and annoyance. Serena bolted out of bed in surprise and stared at the clock. Twenty minutes had passed. "You said you were getting up." Her mother turned on her heel yet again and stalked out of her daughter's room.

"I'm going mom, I'm going," Serena replied with a tired frown. She turned to her pile of clothing which lay in a heap on her floor, tossed things aside, until she found something satisfying to wear. She pulled it on, dragged her feet to her bathroom, where she immediately put up her hair in its typical hairstyle. Then she managed to go down the stairs to the kitchen and eat a bowl of cereal. She did not want to go to school today.

"…and Serena, dear, I need you to call me when you get back from your trip," her mother continued, as if Serena had been listening the whole time.

"Oh yeah, that," Sere replied, mentally kicking herself for forgetting about her trip—even though she had packed the night before! Note to self, don't forget suitcase. "Sure thing, mom."

"Good. Now let me check on your brother to make sure he's awake and he'll take you to school."

Serena grumbled her consent and set herself to finishing her breakfast. A groggy blonde haired, blue eyed boy entered the kitchen in his boxers. "Sere, we're leaving in five minutes."

She didn't bother arguing with him that he was still in his boxers. She just nodded and ran back upstairs to wash her face. Five minutes later, a beautiful blonde emerged from the Tuskino's house—oh wait, that's Serena. She loaded her stuff in the trunk and waited for her brother to take her toward destiny.

**OoOoOoO**

Serena hated buses. They were evil. They are always stuffy and there are too many people screaming at the top of their lungs. She turned toward the window of the bus and blasted her ipod, in the vain attempt to drown out the voices. Her friend, Michelle, drifted off toward people—real people that actually socialized, unlike socially awkward Serena. Sere wished she was one of those people that could fall asleep on the bus, but that would just not work. Instead, she was saddled with annoying people who had no concept of shutting up. She was going to kill. Finally, after agonizing hours—though she spoke with someone briefly—they arrived at the hotel and unloaded into chaos. Well, that's what it felt like. Everyone was scrambling around, pushing and shoving, trying to figure out which room they were assigned. They received room assignments and piled into the elevators. Girls were on one floor and boys were on another. Unloading took less than a second, but within that second, Serena's so called friends/roommates ditched her. Dammit, not again. Serena grumbled to herself and mentally repeated how much she hated life and how much she did not want to be here. It would be another one of those damn trips where she felt left out and alone. Her friends would ditch her and she'd have a miserable time. But no one would know how she felt. No one ever knew how she felt.

She went in search for her two best friends, Lita and Amy and found them immediately to her huge relief. Lita was a tall, wonderful woman, a little shy around the edges, passionate about certain subjects, and was one of those people you wouldn't think twice about in confiding to (meaning you'd do it in a heartbeat). Amy was shorter, about an inch or two taller than Serena, with a freakishly smart brain, but she wouldn't admit it—and didn't acknowledge that she even had much brains, had a sharp personality—one that you would not want to get near her when she was pissed, but was overall really sweet and had a huge heart. Both were very good socially, though they all seemed to be a group in denial of their social abilities. They were a group in denial of anything about themselves. It was quite funny if it weren't so serious. They descended down to the main level and merged with both Amy and Serena's friends—Lita went to a different school so she didn't really have too many friends who went on this trip. They immediately saw Amar, Michelle and a bunch others all congregated in one place. Sere, Lita and Amy drifted toward them and joined the group, though in Serena's case she was grumbling with resentment. She would be bored yet again and she couldn't do much about it. Oh, and there was another blonde edition to this group. And it was one that made Serena gasp internally. It was Sapphire.

She hadn't seen him since the last group gathering like this. He was best friends with Amar. Last group gathering they had flirted and Serena had liked the attention. She also had liked him. Or so she thought. But he didn't pay any different attention to her! It was like that winter gathering had never happened, and that she was just like everyone else! She knew that at that winter gathering, he had felt something too, or else, why had he even spoken with her in the first place?! She went on with a fake smile, though inside, she was steaming at him for being so inconsiderate. Couldn't he see she was still attracted?

But he just smiled and continued on as if nothing had happened. As if nothing had ever happened. She didn't notice the sly glance he cast her way as the group settled down on the couches and chairs to trade jokes and tales.

**OoOoOoO**

"I'll see you guys later," Serena said to her friends, tired of the whole day. She hated having to pretend to be carefree, but that was better than having people come up to you and ask you what's wrong. Anything was better than people's pretend sympathies. The fake smiles they gave and the pretense that they were there to hear your problems was just too much for Serena. They didn't want to hear your problems, they wanted to gloat and feel superior that someone else's life sucked more then theirs. Serena was not going to give anyone _that_ satisfaction.

"Are you sure?" Lita asked.

"Yeah, I'm just really tired. I'll catch up with you later, k?"

"Alright," Amy agreed, though it was a little reluctantly.

Serena flashed them a smile and continued to her room. Why? Why was the question on the tip of her tongue. She wanted to know why Sapphire had totally ignored her and not given her any special attention. She wanted to know why she even agreed to come on this forsaken trip. She wanted to know what possessed her for being so incredibly stupid. She blamed guys for being dense, but maybe she was just as dense. That was not good.

But a real question would be why did she care so much. And why did people ditch her. She knew no one hated her, or at least none of her friends did, but that was about it. Maybe it was the fact that Serena was a very intense person who, once she set her mind to it, was very focused and one tracked. Or maybe it was the fact that she snapped at anyone who came near her that just pissed her off. Or maybe it was the fact that there was no use in small talk. Who could continue small talk when there was nothing to talk about? It's like speaking to a wall hoping it'll somehow communicate back. Not bloody likely and certainly a waste of time.

Of course, it wouldn't matter. Nothing did. Just smile and pretend everything's all right. She closed her eyes with the hopes she would fall asleep. But sleep was just as elusive as the answers to her problems.

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The next chapter will contain more SereSap stuff, but it's not that kind of story. No worries, you'll see in due time. I promise to be much better at updates as long as I get reviews.

So, **review review review** and feel guilty if you don't. Besides, I would really like feedback and stuff. I need to know if you all like it or not.

Can't wait to hear from you all!

Your's truly,

_moonlitsfantasy_


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